im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I look excited, but its just a facade.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
