I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
