My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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