We named our party play list daddy issues
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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