He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well I just put wine in my tea
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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