Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
