North Korea, Best Korea!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
