My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
