It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
