He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
