im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
