they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
