I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
