god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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