11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
