I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Text me some of your sweat
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
