STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
