Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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