Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
