dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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