Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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