the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i now understand why vodka
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
