i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
