Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
