If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
