When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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