Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
