Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
