Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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