i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
