i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
is wine microwaveable?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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