If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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