I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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