k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
