so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
