Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
