if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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