its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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