Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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