can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she told me i tasted like america
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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