I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
