i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
