And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
