you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
