I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
