trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Randomize
