Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
