What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So. Much. Porn.
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