Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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