Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
